SOME GOOD MOVIES TO RENT

Of course it’s easy to make fun of bad movies, but eventually, you come across a couple that make it worth sitting through all of the Solaris’s and After Earth’s. Yes, there are good movies out there in the world you can rent this weekend.  If they’re not on Netflix or On Demand, you can still find just about every movie ever on You Tube for about $2-$5. So whether you’re sitting in front of the TV this weekend because you are exhausted from work, hungover, or your favorite football team has become unbearable to watch, here are a few movies you can feel confident spending close to two hours of your life on, and 2-5 dollars of your hard earned money. 

This week’s genres are: Gloriously Peculiar Comedies; Not Just Bearable, But Actually Interesting Mysteries; and Absurdly Over-The-Top Action Flicks.

Gloriously Peculiar Comedy:                   
THE BROTHERS SOLOMON

Good God this movie makes me piss myself every time I’ve ever seen it. Unfortunately any quotes I would give you, would be out of context and you’d likely call the authorities on me. They are dead-pan, creepy but lovable, and "completely self-unaware albino teen" awkward, not "Ben Stiller" awkward. They would have had me hooked with just the first line of the premise: Imagine Gob (from Arrested Development) as a home-schooled PHD raised in Antarctica… Done. Need say no more. I’m in. The rest of the plot is ridiculous in the realm of Hot Rod, but I dare say it is more mature being as they attempt to teach themselves how to be good parents throughout the movie. Seriously though, start to finish, if you just relax and get in a good mood, every line can be funny. That being said, prerequisites include being in a good mood and watching it with 1 or more people.  

Not Just Bearable, But Actually Interesting Mystery:                       
FRACTURE

Look at those two superstars on the movie poster with those serious scowls. They look so smart, and mad, and condescending. I think that’s a good depiction of the whole film. At any moment each of them is going to be one of those things, and I can guarantee you 10 minutes later it will be different.

You see, we’ve been inundated with so many damn cop and murder shows that it’s pretty tough not to see it coming 15 minutes into any movie. The trick with this movie, that makes it better than so many others trying to do the same damn thing, is that they actually distract you with character development. Sure, if you paused the movie 30-40 minutes into it you might be able to break it down as to what’s going to happen, but you don’t worry about that. Each of the characters displays a wide enough range of motivations and dispositions that you actually get caught up in the scenes, and their interaction. It’s astonishing. I don’t know if the bar is just embarrassingly low, or if we were actually blessed with an excellent murder mystery. I’m going to be optimistic today and lean towards the latter. Definitely worth a watch if you haven’t already. And yes ladies, Mr. Gosling does lose the shirt and bump uglies with a lady.

Absurdly Over-The-Top Action Flick:               
KNIGHT AND DAY

As you can see, I feel like this movie needed another photo to emphasize my point. This is not a Tom Clancy, serious, action, mystery.  People are going to do somersaults from moving vans on to motorcycles jumping off a bridge type of shit here. Just let it happen. It’s fucking entertaining… I know what else you’re going to say. “I hate Tom Cruise. He’s a midget Scientologist.”

Hey! That’s mean. That’s religiousist. Wait, is that a word? Well, you know what I mean. Just because he jumped around on a sofa like a crack head on Oprah a couple years ago doesn’t mean you need to hold it against him for the rest of his life. He makes some damn good movies every once in a while. This one, the one I’m recommending, he was great in it. He carried the whole movie. He’s supposed to be this badass Bond-type superagent, but every time he does or says anything, it’s done completely nonchalant and matter-of-factly, no matter how many bullets are flying overhead. Cameron Diaz at times will be taken aback by his calm demeanor and say something to the tune of, “LOUD NOISE WHAT #$%%^, WHY, RABBLE RABBLE!” At which point Cruise will give her the “well, there no sense talking to you at this point look,” and affectionately taps her on the neck with sleepy juice because carrying her through bad guys is less detrimental then listening to her talk. C’mon, now. That’s funny. Fortunately for women everywhere, she does grow from a loud hot obnoxious blonde all the way to a reliable teammate.

          So I ask you, get over your Cruise and Diaz hatred. Give them 109 minutes and let them entertain you. Thank you for reading, and until next time GB².